Thursday, July 03, 2008

"...And we're back!" or "Wedding Bell Blues"

Sorry for the delay there. Alright, now where were we? Yes, I am back in Canada. Yes I miss Nicaragua dearly and yes my "trip" was fabulous. Anything else you'd like to know, I think was basically covered in this blog. Feel free to look around.
Now for something completely unrelated. Or maybe it is sort of related (it always is just a little bit isn't it?). I have returned just in time (you lucky duck, you- Kiki) for wedding season. Last year it was my dear friend Jessi's wedding which I was bridesmaid once, and assisted in all things maidly such as throwing a shower and attending the stagette and enforcing full-participation in the list of silly stunts for bride-to-be to perform. I was also- suspiciously- out of town the week before the wedding for my pre-departure training in Waterloo and returned home conveniently at 11pm the night before the wedding. This year, I shall have no such luck- although I am twice a bridesmaid (its THRICE that you have to be worried about, so sorry friends, if you want me, you have to wait until I myself am married).
The wedding madness now includes three showers, a "staggettee" weekend, a rehearsal dinner, a hair appointment, the fluffy (but cute!) dress- don't worry, no seafoam nor hot pink here- and of course the whole day affair itself. Now, in her defence: the bride is no hag and for all three showers she had no hand in planning, pushing or performing. Its not her fault. Its just the way our crazy society is. "But you MUST have a lingerie shower! You need the crazy underpants!!" The camping staggettee that was four days of hot coco, campfires and Clue (as in the board game) in a forest, which in my opinion is immensely more valuable than a night of drunken mayhem just because "its your last chance to do so" when I wouldn't do it in the first place.
However, it does seem a bit overwhelming. I think all involved would agree to that point. So I have made some critical decisions regarding my own future nuptials, which considering the stereotypical non-involvement of grooms, it is of little consequence that I do not have any marriage prospects.
First- I plan to get married in a foreign country. This is sensible for a range of reasons. Considering my degree, chose vocation and desire to live abroad (esp. Latin America) I think it is reasonable to assume that in the next several years I may spend considerable time there, and may happen upon an eligible young man who suits my fancy. It is also reasonable to assume that regardless of his country of origin, we have, for various reasons, both chosen to reside in that hypothetical foreign country and would ostensibly have at least a few local friends who, judging from the economic situation of countries involved in the need for development workers, would lack the resources to attend were it in a developed country.
However, were I to lack said friends and accomplices, so much the better. The least amount of people involved, the better. Keep It Simple Stupid- KISS, a wise acronym from Mrs. Mckenzie's gr. 10 english class. Very appropriate considering the romantic nature of our topic.
Furthermore, this wide industry of weddings does not actually exist outside the global North. If that means that I look like such a bride as this, I am fine with that... er... ish. Anyways, i think just a nice white dress and some fresh mangoes after to celebrate really would be nice- and more than sufficient.
So, I have taken the liberty of drawing up a list of destination weddings which are PARTICULARLY enticing to me. The point here really is simplicity. So I say: if you can make it to my wedding, you are pretty much guaranteed a spot in my wedding.
- Papua New Guinea
- Equitorial Guinea
- Really, any of the Guineas
- Azerbijan- despite that it remains a country who's very existence I somewhat doubt. Really, have you ever met anyone from there? I mean, I believe the land is there, sure, but people... not so much. The same goes for Suriname.
- Bhutan
- And maybe Djibouti (Djibouti).
- Realistically i can't stay away from Latin America, so let's throw Chile into the mix. And serve chiles with our mangoes. Mmmmm chiles....

So. I guess I'll call it what it is- eloping but without the scandal. But if you want to come, you are more than welcome. SOMEONE will need to witness I suppose. Being legal would be the only other requirement beyond the white dress and the mangoes.