Excerpts from the Peanut Gallery

Las cucarachas grandes que corrían en el piso húmedo de la cocina...

I think its time I introduce to you, ladies and gents, the new hero of my life, the man that really is quickly becoming indispensable, whom I may name as my "right hand man" and who very possibly actually be from planet Krypton. His name is Santiago, and he is our 'vigilante' (house guard, door-man, care-taker, pretty-much-all-around-everything). Now I knew that Santiago was pretty cool before, but lately we had an episode that shows just how awesome he is.

The episode, like my recent bathroom lock-down incident, was just another such experience that had to happen eventually. You can't go live in a tropical country and not expect some crazy bugs- that's what I always say. So the other day I met the world's biggest cockroach in my kitchen. I opened the cupboard under our counter and there it was. Now I thought they were supposed scuttle away when light hits them. Not this one; apparently my cockroaches are a bit more apathetic than the usual ones. This guy just wiggled is long antennae at me and stared me down as if to say "there's no way you've got the chumps to step on me." If it had eyelids- which I am pretty sure it did, and let me tell you that there is no eyeliner big enough or good enough for this ugly sucker- it blinked them at me, and I believe it may have even yawned in boredom at the prospect of me as a mortal foe.

So what do I do? First, I yell for Shannon, my roommate. WHY I did this, is well nigh inexplicable. Shannon is terrified of the little bugs, i am the designated spider-killer in this house- what is she going to do?? Maybe it was instinctual to call on her as an experienced bug-fearer, I didn't know how to go about freaking out sufficiently for this situation, nor could I think straight enough to look for another person stronger and better than to to kill the dreaded thing. Shannon being made aware of the situation, I quickly regained my senses and remembered that there was one close by who probably had seen something like this once or twice before in his varied and extensive tropical country living experience: Santiago. So i went outside and explained the situation. There was no smirk, no fear lurking in his face, just a nice smile and he followed me into the kitchen.

I opened the cupboard doors (which I had immediately slammed shut the last time) and there he was- just alternating between blinking and staring down... Santiago asked me if I had some giant cucaracha killing instrument known only to experienced Nicaraguan cucaracha killers. No, no I did not. The situation was getting dire. I ran around and hid in the alcove leading to the bathroom door. Santiago chuckled. With the stealth and style of a ninja, the skill surpassing even Steve Erwin, and the courage out-couraging of any band of brothers I know- Santiago flipped the ghastly beast on his back, incapacitating it immediately and began to kick the cucaracha out the door, like he was a 12-yr old kicking a deflated soccer ball to pass the time.

I think he may have crunched the beast at some point as well- wearing only sandals on his feet. There is no way I can overestimate this man's superhero-ness.

posted by Kiki @ 9:26 p.m.