Excerpts from the Peanut Gallery

The "Everyone Needs a Good One of These" type of story

May this moment of folly bless your day:

So I figure that everyone needs at least one good Trapped-in-the-office-[insert location of small space] story. Here is mine, it occurred today:

So I was in the bathroom earlier, and had a small moment of panic when the door wouldn’t open, but a few hard jerks and I was out. Ok, so after round two of coffee and some H2O hydration (as is very important when living in a tropical heatbox) I had to go again. So off I go to the bathroom. Now first let me pause and set the scene for this washroom. My office is essentially a really nice Nicaraguan house. The bathroom, therefore is a single-occupant unit. But it has a nice window up high that does not see outside, but rather into the office next door (it sits higher than my head, which of course makes it a little less fun). Its not particularly large, and the shower stand open and gaping in half of it, but that is mostly occupied by a large garbage can that never seems to hold any garbage (at which point I would contend that it should heretofore be referred to as simply a 'can').

Anyways, I do my thing and then go to leave, and of course, its totally stuck. Awesome. So I jiggle it like I did before, I turn, I pull, I bash… eventually the darn knob breaks off… but not entirely, making it essentially useless.

Any rational person would have chosen the next plan of action therefore to be a yell for help. Somewhere between my total mind blank on the Spanish word for “heeeeeelp meeeeeeee!”, the fit of giggles that I had and the slight embarrassment I was feeling, I didn’t have the presence of mind to do much but hold the still-attached, but broken handle in my hand meanwhile thinking “bathroom doorknobs are so not sanitary, I have got to use hand sanitizer when I get out.” Now all the while I have been hearing the voices of the office next door (that is usual, the window isn’t particularly thick, actually I think it was a crack open anyways). So I start knocking- on the door “hello? Anyone in there??” On the window “oh yooohoooo, its nosy Gladys Kravitz from next door here.” Hurmph…I'm not getting anywhere.

After few minutes of this huffing and hawing a face appears above me- Nubia, our office manager, soothingly saying “oh don’t worry, Kiki, we’ll get you out of here.” Now at this point, it wasn’t so much that I was worried, as trying not to laugh. Well, long story short, 15 minutes, two electrical workers, one office manager, a kitchen knife and a Phillips head screwdriver and I am free- just like that.

It was a terrible ordeal, but I want to thank all the people who didn’t give up the search, who worked to free me. Now that I am safe and free the first thing I am going to do is eat a peanut butter sandwich- not because while I was in there I was thinking “when I get outta here… if I ever get outta here, I am going to eat PB and J,” but actually because that’s what I brought for lunch today.

I was comforted to learn from Nubia that I am not the first one on whom this catastrophe has befallen.

posted by Kiki @ 5:45 p.m.