Excerpts from the Peanut Gallery

A few observations from a downtown experience by an uptown kinda girl

Number the First: (During a stroll down Main at King Edward) What is it precisely that causes hippies to have a fetish for drawstring waistbands? From my keen observations I have learned the following hard fact: If you are wishing to wear natural fibres and make conscious consumer choices then you must also naturally have a penchant for pyjama-esq outer-wear and a decided aversion to business casual based solely on the high incidence of zipper-front closures. This is a difficult fact to swallow for many of my readers. Rest assured that I am as disquieted as any. I prefer to be one of those conscious consumers. But I find wrap-tie pants to be so frightfully unreliable.


Number 2: (During a walk on 1st avenue at Arbutus) Kits is supposedly the swanky laid-back west coast hipster joint. City volleyball leagues and micro-brews on the patio with views of lazy tankers are generally images that come to mind. Kosher burrito barns and an Italian panini places are the only restaurants that can get legitimate licensing here. And yet, as I "stroll" down the sidewalk, and over to the beach I notice how wretchedly fast-paced it is. Even the bikers coming off the bridge from work are tour de francing it so they have to get home in time for their ultimate frisbee tourney. I have to choke myself back on my ridiculously complicated coffee beverage to stop myself from shouting: "Slow down! Use your road sense!"

I feel like this might be an appropriate time to make a hasty generalisation regarding my culture. Let's be clear- I am proudly Canadian, and a Vancouverite at that- so I am humbly centrist and yet am quite comfortable telling you how incredibly centrist I am and how much better it is to be centrist in a light rain at 20 degrees celsius than in -40 with a windchill factor. With that disclaimer, I think I have to point out something that I don't appreciate as much.
I have been discussing with various people general cultural characteristics. At the lecture last night they talked at length about how Egyptians are world-famous for their hospitality. Central Americans will always have my love for being so outgoing. So what about us Vancouverites? You know what I think of when I think of the good old laid-back, casual left coast living? Fastidious. We are demanding when it comes to our lattes, picky about our yoga mats, and we have delicate palates and we expect that the majority of vehicles will get out of our way without inconveniencing us as we hurdle along in our audis and our minis and our Mini-van-sport-utility hybrid that is truly a worthy environmental investment.
We may not be perfect. But we are shiny.



Number 3: Yes, coffee at 8pm. Because you really can sleep when you are dead. There is a couple in the coffee shop and neither party seems to believe him or herself truly responsible for how the child with them came into the world.

Number 4: (A vignette observed at Kits beach near the paved promenade at sunset) A man is dragging his wonderfully cute little pregnant wife in a Oprah Winfrey-style power walk. I don't think he's doing it on purpose, he seems to enjoy her presence. Its just that he's so thickly built and taking very, um, "purposeful" strides and in contrast, she is little. Close behind is another couple with the woman as the central figure- I appreciate any woman between 35 and 45 who will wear a tulle underskirt, black leggings and doc martens and still look fresh and bright. Finally, for the young hollister couple- walking barefoot holding sandals along the beach seems more sensible in it's romance when actually on the beach, and more uncomfortable when you are on the cement walkway beside the beach. I also appreciate the child of 6 or 7 who scolded his older sister (let's suppose she's 10) for missing the sunset. A kid's gotta know a good show when he sees one.



Number 5: Is it even possible to be desensitized to the mountains?




**Finally, a correction to the previous post. I have called into question the existence of an Azerbaijanian populace. In view of recent facts that have surfaced to the effect that they have won four medals already in the Olympics, I stand corrected. There are 4 men who hold confirmed citizenship in that country. Their residence is, however, a moot point. Suriname remains an enigma- however, using that gauge, so does Canada.

posted by Kiki @ 3:03 p.m.